"I Did The Math"

I am proud to present the first guest-post in this blog's history.  My good friend Prudence is here to tell us of a night of poker that I missed.  Take it away, Prudence....

(Prudence here. I am honored to make an appearance in Rob's special little corner of the blogosphere, and I hope this story generates some thoughtful debate—even if my opinion is clearly the right one.)

This hand, henceforth known as the Worst Call Ever, went down recently at BSC. 

Of course I have to preface this tale with the hands that took place leading up to it. For starters, I was on massive tilt because an aggressive young Asian—let's just call him SELFISH PIG—had busted me 20 minutes into my evening. SELFISH PIG played 80% of his hands, raising every time, and ordered two drinks at a time so that he could save his tip money for making retarded moves. The blow to my ego and bank account forced me to switch tables and resolve to play uber tight for the rest of the evening. After waiting forty minutes to finally get QQ in the big blind, I raised to $15 with a $100 stack. A gentleman in middle position called, and an Ace showed up on the flop.  I checked, he bet $45, I mucked, and then asked myself where the nearest tall bridge might be located.

Future starting hands looked just as good—suited connectors, AJ, AQ, pocket pairs etc—but I couldn't hit a flop or find myself in the right position to save my life. Two hours into the session, in a fit frustration, I raised 27h in late position to $20. This being my biggest bet of the evening, there were instafolds all around …except for one.  An older British gentleman called. 

Shit. It was time to check/fold.

But the flop came 2 with two hearts, Q high, giving me a (shitty) pair and flush draw. Not the end of the world.

He checked, I bet, he raised. Hmm. I gambled and pushed the rest of my short stack across the line. Flush on the river. I showed, everyone's eyes bugged out, and he made a face which indicated that he might have a stroke. I believe he had AQ. He paid me and laughed like a good sport. However, it was obvious that he was very conservative, as he spent the rest of the evening rehashing this beat to every new player who sat at the table.

I told him not to worry— I would only play Kings and Aces from then on. 

This was a half-truth.  An hour later, a young man who bore a striking resemblance to Lewis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds sat at the table. I limped in the big blind with 79d, and the flop came 8, 10, diamond. I bet, Skolnick called. Another diamond on the turn. I now had an open ended straight PLUS a flush draw. I bet, he went all in, I called. He flips over an already made straight but again, I hit a flush on the river. (I can hear Rob asking himself as he proofreads this, "Jesus, how does she always get it on the river?!?!")

It's hard to say if I made a bad decision there. I definitely didn't put him on a straight because he had just sat down. And anyway, I was too busy replaying the Revenge of the Nerds panty raid scene in my head to think straight. In any case, Skolnick seemed furious and reloaded to $200.

A few hands later, I found myself with KK UTG. I raised to $15 when it came back around to me, and only Mr. Tight Brit called. After losing $100 to my 27h, he worked his way up to $400+. I proceeded with caution. Of course, a dreaded Ace showed up on the flop. I bet $35 to see where I was at, and he called without hesitation.  

We checked the turn and another Ace came on the river. I checked and he bet. I folded face up and smiled. Easy. He showed me his Ace for the trips—not out of courtesy, but because he was so happy to have a strong hand.

NOW… let's get to the Worst Call Ever.

This hand is only a moment later and involves Sklonick in the small blind, a fellow who spent 12 hours earning himself a $1000+, and Mr. Tight Brit in late position. Six players limp in and flop comes:

A Q rag, rainbow.

The table checks around and a Jack of spades comes on the turn.

Skolnick checked and Big Stack made it $30. Mr. Tight Brit called, others folded, and it was up to Skolnick.

"Re-raise. $110."

Oohs and ahhs from the peanut gallery. Big Stack folded and later told me he had AJ for two pair. But Mr. Brit looked down at his $400+, smiled, and said, "All in."

Let's be real. I folded Kings face up to the man while Skolnick watched. He only played strong hands, and this was his first all-in. This guy clearly had the NUTS. But Skolnick tanked. "Do you think I should call?" he asked. He exposed 2/3 spades to the table, giving him a flush draw. 

I for one almost spit my drink all over the table. But with table talk forbidden, we all sat silent—mouths hanging open—until he finally made the call. (He had $105 left at the time)

BAM! A six of spades on the river for the win. The Brit sighed with resignation and showed his K10 for the straight. The entire table whooped and hollered. One player remarked with a laugh, "That's the world's biggest suck out if I've ever seen one."

"A suck out?" asked Skolnick. "I don't think so. I did the math."

Despite being Asian, my math abilities are as bad my driving skills. So can someone explain what-the-eff kind of math involves risking your life against an obvious, tight, older man with THREE HIGH? I can understand the bold re-raise on the turn—he had outs and this was one way to possibly get anyone with two pair or a set off his/her hand. (And at BSC, you probably couldn't get them off of it anyway! For instance, a SELFISH PIG would never fold.)

And yes, I've just given two previous examples of putting all of my own chips on the line, but both involved a combo of straight and flush draws, pairs, a short stack, and/or little information on my opponent.  Once the Brit pushed and had him covered, I'd say it was time to lay down and eat a slice of humble pie. At the very least, he could have 'fessed up to taking a big risk and getting lucky.

But just as it went in the movie, it looks like the nerd got the last laugh. Cue Queen's "We are the Champions" and... end scene.
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"I Did The Math"
"I Did The Math"
Reviewed by asiana
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Rating : 4.5